I chose this essay to include in my e-Portfolio because I think it demonstrates my ability to write a persuasive paper. After making several revisions, I am happy with the results. I am also very passionate about this topic. I revised this paper a considerable amount from my original draft. First, I added additional research and support to my claims; this boosted my credibility as a writer. Secondly, I decided to focus more on the injustices the current law presents because that was my strongest argument. So I included more information about the current federal law and rearranged sentences and paragraphs to draw the focus to that law. I also filled in transitional sentences from paragraph to paragraph wherever they were needed. The revisions I made improved the strength of my paper by narrowing in on one main argument, providing evidence in support of my claims, and creating a logical flow that is easy to follow.
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